Optipessimism.

Been 21 years here in this life and I've already lived 1/4th part of god gift, as calling it a gift I don't want to tell you how frowned I've been about it at times and not outlooking the best parts that stayed forever. I've been living in a space where I stand alone with my choices however there are factors that affect them including my parent and society. I'm even though so much in love with my life and the people there are that it never dissapponted me more than I tolerated to be. I'm , I accept not a genius neither beautiful nor do I have goodness to the core but the manners and stuffs I was taught I've cherished them and let them their space in my blood. I love my family and no doubt am highly proud of it but life beyond its beauty have the flaws which at times made me cross with the family I'm so much in love with. Yes, am safe within this house and I am grateful about it but its nature of bounds that holds my wrist harder at times, well it pines and I scream to myself in the solace I cry "Let Me Out Of Here". But when I calm down it's again the place where I want to be because there is nowhere else to go and beneath the anger in my heart is love that still pours out with time and cares for the people who made me what I'm on this date on the calender and looking at those faces that anger just leaves it place and my conscience orders me to remain with them for if I leave they will be lonely and I know what being lonely is. So, here is my little secret I am a pessimist who is somehow supposed to be optimistic about this life and smile for this is the life that many out there might be craving for and I'm just one lucky person to have it all for me. I never want to lose it for what I couldn't. These are two sides of me. I am a Pessioptimist.