Optipessimism.

Been 21 years here in this life and I've already lived 1/4th part of god gift, as calling it a gift I don't want to tell you how frowned I've been about it at times and not outlooking the best parts that stayed forever. I've been living in a space where I stand alone with my choices however there are factors that affect them including my parent and society. I'm even though so much in love with my life and the people there are that it never dissapponted me more than I tolerated to be. I'm , I accept not a genius neither beautiful nor do I have goodness to the core but the manners and stuffs I was taught I've cherished them and let them their space in my blood. I love my family and no doubt am highly proud of it but life beyond its beauty have the flaws which at times made me cross with the family I'm so much in love with. Yes, am safe within this house and I am grateful about it but its nature of bounds that holds my wrist harder at times, well it pines and I scream to myself in the solace I cry "Let Me Out Of Here". But when I calm down it's again the place where I want to be because there is nowhere else to go and beneath the anger in my heart is love that still pours out with time and cares for the people who made me what I'm on this date on the calender and looking at those faces that anger just leaves it place and my conscience orders me to remain with them for if I leave they will be lonely and I know what being lonely is. So, here is my little secret I am a pessimist who is somehow supposed to be optimistic about this life and smile for this is the life that many out there might be craving for and I'm just one lucky person to have it all for me. I never want to lose it for what I couldn't. These are two sides of me. I am a Pessioptimist.

Incomplete..

I Preferred my life the way it was and I never had any complains of what and how and one day it happen to sense to me that I am with the man I deserve to be.. he is total person as for a lover, everything that I wanted him to be.. he never made me feel the difference as the day went by but today this day I feel he is not able to figure how much I need him . Its terrifying to me while its funny to the world.. they say I worry and think like an elephant but trust me I fear nothing else but I sure fear losing him and this is my confession that for me he is my one in 6 billions. And come what so may I always want him however I tell him I dont need him deep inside I know I need him more than anything else and its not easy to define or even imagine how my life would be without him.

My Cindrella Story

I lay down on my bed

thinking about the one..

who is made for me..

in the whole wide world..

the sparkling eyes that shine bright

when they look at me..

the sweet smile that flows along

with lots of love in it..

somewhere in the some nook of this earth

standing below the same sky

however far away in the different cities

we are still one still together..

Someday I kno when i get to see him

right in front of me..

there wont be a happier moment..

more happy that the one it will be..

already beating faster ..

my heart is dancing wid joy

the name of him floating in my veins

loving him more now and then..

That man is my prince

this world is my love story

his heart is my palace

and this is my little cindrella story. 

The day that lived

There is always a chance that a story somehow has a few hours or a few days that last a lifetime.. My life is full of such moments.. but there is one day.. 27th of January 2007.. this day is entirely a fairytale.. a tale that will last with my grandchildren.. Every girl has a desire to fall in love with her prince charming.. but until he came in my life I had no such desires I only thought the fairy-tales are just the bedtime stories.. But somehow he changed my view by becoming the prince charming of my fairytale. That man is such an exception in the world.. he made me believe love is alive in the world.. His one gaze made me fall for him.. his morality.. his love for his parents.. his firm beleif.. and everything else rounded me in the circle of love and I had to fall for him. 27th of January is the day that he came into my life and became an inseparable part of it and that was the day I knew that every fairytale is true in itself.. like mine is.. and am eagerly looking forward to its happy ending now. I am so much immerse in love of him. Everyday that I wake up I pray not for mine but his day for his happiness for his success.. because that all is mine.. The more he spreads the more I feel happy about living this life.. And tomorrow when he will be on his own feet , I know after his parents I will be the first to feel immensely proud of being his love and his other half.
That one day changed my entire life.. And made it something I always wanted it to become.
I'm happy.
Thanks Christ . Amen.